| Who's a Fuck Up!?!? I'm A Fuck Up... |
[31 May 2003|12:40am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Head Up, Deftones |
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You know how you wanna tell someone something but you can't? That shit fuckin sucks. Fuckin, this chick...so fuckin hott, fun, awsome...fucking amazing...Beautiful. Beautiful....That's what she fuckin is. But since I'm a complete fuck up, I won't/can't do shit about it. I mean, seriously, I'm not that bad of a person am I? Seriously...I know I fuck up a lot, but everyone does, right? Or is it more that I fuck up more than anyone?... I gotta find a way to change who I am. I really really really really don't like who I am and who I've become. More than usual. Anyone wanna help? Please do.
My foot hurts right now to. I dunno why but it does! There is nothing to do. Matt is suppossed to come back over but I doubt he will. He's with Jen, Nique, and Jeff...where I should fucking be right now talkin to someone, telling them how I feel. Another fuck up to add to my ever-lasting list.
Can't I ever do anything right?
Maybe I shouldn't be so god damn stupid...
Inferiority complex? Yeeeeeees
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| It's My Birthday...GoGoGoGo |
[26 May 2003|01:44pm] |
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It's my mutha fuckin birthday biatches...Hahahahahahaha..One year closer to world domination. Yeah not really. Well I'm outty.
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| You Took One Final Look, My Tears, They Turn To Ice... |
[22 May 2003|05:02pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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TV |
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Well today sucked balls. School really blows at the end of the year. Everything in rushed and you don't really feel like you can get everything accomplished. I still hate my life and almost everything about it.
This Monday is my birthday...I'll prolly be grounded on it or most of everyone will forget or don't know. My father is outta town for it, my mother is a psycho, and I dunno.
Got my car back today and drove around. Mom called and doesn't want me driving cuz she's a fucking cunt ass whore. Seriously, who the fuck gets grounded anymore. She's trying to tell me that I get more than a lot of people...THE FUCK I DO! I don't get to do shit.
Cunt.
Is anyone out there willing to kill me? I'll pay ya. Just end my pain and suffering...please...
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| You Took One Final Look, My Tears, They Turn To Ice... |
[22 May 2003|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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stressed |
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music |
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TV |
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Well today sucked balls. School really blows at the end of the year. Everything in rushed and you don't really feel like you can get everything accomplished. I still hate my life and almost everything about it.
This Monday is my birthday...I'll prolly be grounded on it or most of everyone will forget or don't know. My father is outta town for it, my mother is a psycho, and I dunno.
Got my car back today and drove around. Mom called and doesn't want me driving cuz she's a fucking cunt ass whore. Seriously, who the fuck gets grounded anymore. She's trying to tell me that I get more than a lot of people...THE FUCK I DO! I don't get to do shit.
Cunt.
Is anyone out there willing to kill me? I'll pay ya. Just end my pain and suffering...please...
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| This Gangsta Here's A Smart One...Maybe Not |
[21 May 2003|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Knife Party, Deftones |
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Yeah, today was gay as fuck. Boring too. It feels like Friday and yet, I'm wishing it was. Oh well. I can't wait for school to be over with but I'm kinda wishing that it wasn't so close...guess I'm kinda scared about next year. I want do go out and do something. I haven't hung out with anyone in a while. Seems like everyone I used to hang out with either has their own thing or don't talk to me anymore or just not friends with them anymore. Wish I was more sociable...or liked. I dunno. Guess I'm pretty dumb or I need something in my life that I don't have.
Broke up with my girlfriend lastnight. She cryed. I felt bad but she's a good person and we'll still be friends. I'm sure she'll move on.
Right now I'm trying to talk to my father and it's kinda goin well. Waiting for my mother to come home so I can tell her that I'm moving in with my father. Don't think this is gonna go over well....
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| The Fact That I Can't Get By With My Niner |
[20 May 2003|04:14pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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Lose Yourself, Eminem |
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Fuck life...shit sucks. Got my car taken away for having my fucking license...WTF!?!? Who's heard of such an assinine thing...seriously. I think I should get my shit and kill mad amounts of people. Only gonna cost me 90 bucks, including the shipping and handling and licence for it...*BLAM BLAM* you're gone and outta my life. Fuck you and fuck everything else. You take everything away from me that makes me happy. And you wonder why I do the things I do? Fuckin treat me like a fuckin 17 year old and not a fucking 9 year old and things would be good. Cunt.
Oppertunity come's once in a life time....
I don't think I'll forget that.
I also think that it's already passed me.
Fuck, I'm a loser.
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| Fuck Life |
[13 May 2003|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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Adidas, KoRn |
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Fuckin shit sucks. School sucks, my life sucks, and of I have a strict fuckin family at my moms. Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck off! I fuckin wish I had a different life, I really do. Fuck it.
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| Yeah yeah yeah |
[10 May 2003|01:03am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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Fingers Hitting The Keyboard |
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Same ol shit anymore, anyone agree? I feel like shit, wanna die and go away, far far away. I dunno what's up with me but ya know. I guess I'm just getting in that stage kinda thinggy or something,who knows. Maybe it's cuz of all the stress and confussion and who else knows.
I'm sitting in the dark, talking to myself. Why does everybody tell me that I need help? I'm in love with pain, I'll take a needle or a knife & drive that mother fucker through my windpipe. I just might take a razor blade, dip it in some gas and see if I can take a little skin off the calf.
Grotesque I'm a walking body bag,
and when it all heals I'll pick the scabs.
Work sucked mad ballage. Fuck the GM and fuck AMC. Only good thing there is the hot chicks...(The FEW that are there) I wanna find my gun, bring it to work, kill dumb people, go around and kill a bunch of different races...mainly a "nigger" that's causeing shit with my boy. If he doesn't step back, I'm gonna fuckin kill that mutha fucker. I got resources. Now don't get me wrong, I'm NOT and I repeat NOT a racist, but there is a difference between a African-American and a Nigger. Who's with me on that? I know there's many out there that agree. Oh well.
I wish there was a place where you can go to end all of your suffering and missery. It would be great...Death Land. Well pack your bags Chink, cuz here I come.
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| Wowzers |
[08 May 2003|08:52pm] |
Wow I feel like shit. I'm kinda tired but I'm really awake, if that makes any sense. I got a referal today cuz Mr Wahl is a racist faggot. I hope he dies of an anal virus or something really really bad. Fuckin fag. I shoulda beat his fuckin ass. Fuck him. I hope that tomorrow goes by real smooth.
Yeah, in June I'm going to Cancoon Mexico...again but this time it's gonna be bad ass. I'm gonna love every second of it. Today in lunch Collin brought ICEE POPS and they were bad ass. We all looked like retards trying to open them with our teeth. Heh. Well I'm out.
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| Jeeze Leweeze... |
[07 May 2003|08:50pm] |
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I haven't written anything is a loooooooong ass time...wowzerz. Well, I HAD a bad ass dog...I had to get rid of it though cuz of the other two dogs. It was a beautiful blue Great Dane....she was so awsome. Wish I still had her. Prom night was bad ass. Had mucho fun. Had mucho fun afterwards too. Sooooooooo much fun. The next day, Spires, Justin, Matt and I chilled and then KT and Melballs finally woke up and stuff. It was fun. It was kinda nuts too. Heh. I'm out.
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[22 Feb 2003|09:35pm] |
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mood |
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FUCKING SHIT, thats how I feel |
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music |
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None |
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MF: hey
Annuit Coeptis86: hi
MF: ummm yeah
Annuit Coeptis86: ummm yeah what?
Annuit Coeptis86: what are you doing?
MF: nothing
MF: what are you doing?
Annuit Coeptis86: same
MF: your not hanging out with matt
Annuit Coeptis86: No
Annuit Coeptis86: I'm on the computer and so is he
Medievalfairy02: okay
Annuit Coeptis86: I'm sitting at home alone
MF: sorry
Annuit Coeptis86: It's ok
Annuit Coeptis86: Don't be
MF: ummm yeah
Annuit Coeptis86: if you don't wanna talk to me, you don't have to
Annuit Coeptis86: Dont feel obligated to
Annuit Coeptis86: (Not in an asshole way)
MF: me feel obligated right look who's talking
Annuit Coeptis86: Fine
Annuit Coeptis86: If you don't want me to talk to you then MF: fine
Annuit Coeptis86: Bye
MF: fuck off ass
MF: god i hate it when you pull this shit
Annuit Coeptis86: I'm being serious
Annuit Coeptis86: If you don't wanna talk to me, then don't
MF: so am i if you don't want to be with me then you don't have to
MF: bye
MF signed off at 9:32:56 PM.
Baaaad day...Fuckin shit has been so shitty lately. I'm so sick of life....everything. Fucking school, work, and family. I don't need this shit. I fuckin hate everything. I feel like shit and I need to go somewhere. Anywhere but this whole fucking state. I need to get away. I stopped everything, no more drugs, no more drinking, no more of like everything. And right now I just feel like I want it all back in me again and that it would make me feel better. I know in the long run it's not gonna though. Fuck everything.
I haven't written in a long time and yeah. If whoever is reading this is suprised to see something from me, I doubt I'll have anymore for a while.
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| Koreans Are Plagueing The Universe. |
[18 Dec 2002|02:15pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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Another Innocent Girl, Alkaline Trio |
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Yeah so today we took mid terms for 2nd and 5th periods. I think I did bad on both. I need to start doing better. Looks like more time to study than other things. I kinda feel like shit right now actually. I'm also really freakin hungry. I drew some more drawings today. They came out pretty good I guess. I gotta start doing things to benefit me more. There is so much I wanna do but I need to do things to benefit me in order to get these nessecities.
I've kinda noticed that I'm kinda sorta really paranoid. Not always though. Seems to be about certain things or when certain things happen. Guess I should fix this huh? Only a fucking retard like me would get like this. Damn Koreans
Well I'm gonna go finish doing stuff around the house. I gotta work tonight, I dunno if I'll be writting tonight again or not...So far I'm leaning towards the Not. Peace.
"I Need To Get Away From It All"
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| :::Frown::: Fuck This Shit |
[18 Dec 2002|07:31am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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Until I Hear It From You, Gin Blossoms |
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Laaaaaaaaastnight was pretty bad ass. I talked my mom into letting me see the dry run at work lastnight. I saw Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers. It was really really good. I saw it with the people at work, Matt and of course my little Becky. The movie was so awsome. I can't wait until the next one. I think I'm gonna go see it again soon. It got more away from the book but it was still good. So yeah, I saw Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers before any of you little Fucks out there. Fuck Off Bitches! Get off my nutz.
Things have been really wierd lately. I can't explain them but things are wierd. It seems like things have been happening for the better for me and then after a few good things, here comes like 100000 bad things. Fuckin sucks.
I think I know the feeling of a four letter word now. Dunno where the hell that came from.
I gotta work today. I don't really feel like it...maybe it's just now. I dunno. At least I work Usher shifts today and tomorrow. Fuckin, next week I work so many fuckin Concession shifts...Concession blows ass! I hate it. I hope it dies.
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| FIRE!!! FIRE!!!FIRE!!!...I'm Not A Pyro... |
[16 Dec 2002|07:34am] |
You're fire! In general you're not a mean person but you can be very quick tempered, and boy, WHAT A TEMPER YOU CAN HAVE. You are angered very easily and you sometimes have anti-social habits.
What element are you?
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| ::Sluuuuuuuuuup::: MmmMmmMmmmmmmm |
[13 Dec 2002|04:37pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Bartender, (hed) PE |
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I'm eating soup. It's really good. Today was soooooo boring. I can't wait for this weekend. Just Sat. really. Becky is gonna come over and hang out with me. Gonna be fuuuuuuuun. I must say, Matt and Nathan have got to be my best friends. So cool.
I'm gettin better. Not coughing as much and my throat isn't as sore.
Duuuuuuuuude, my phone is so messed up right now. I was talkin to my father on my phone and when I tilted it a little bit it cut my father off and I got into a whole different line and heard to chicks talkin about goin to the mall today. Then I tilted it back a little bit and it cut off the two chicks and went back to my father. After I got off the phone with my father I messed with it a little bit more and heard the same chicks, so I started talkin a little bit, I was like, "Hello???", they just stopped talkin for a sec and sat there and then started to talk again. It was soooo fucking messed up. Haha.
Well I'm gonna go get ready for work. Peace
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| !Joke's On You! |
[12 Dec 2002|05:03pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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music |
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Brick In The Wall, Pink Floyd |
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So today was pretty easy. I called Becky this morning and talked to her and it started my day off real nicely. Although I hated most of my day at school. 4th period was bad ass for a change. I enjoyed myself and so did everyone else.
Got my schedual and I'm gonna see if I can get Sunday off. I need it off...I really do.
I'm outta here. Be back later. Peace
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annuitcoeptis86's journal
bored
tired
